Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Deadly Triumvirate

I still do remember, my visit to Old Trafford in 2013, when I posed standing in front of the statue of George Best, Denis Law, and Sir Bobby Charlton, and the statue neatly names as United Trinity.

These great classic players are a vital zenith in the history of Manchester United. Thus they called them as Trinity.

Or a Triumvirate, to be precise — referring to their legendary status as in the ancient Roman, the Triumvirate referred to the kind like Julius Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus.

Many clubs may be rich in their history, for instance, Liverpool, rich in the history of suffering the longest title drought from their trophy cabinet. Or, Arsenal has a rich history in showing a great football gameplay, yet winning not.

Manchester United is on the other level.

They are not rich, but extraordinarily rich with a prosperous history of Champions the league and hundreds of more trophies. The Trinity aforementioned was surely a deadly triumvirate in the old days for making those records.

No, I don’t want to talk about the football. It is just a preamble — for something else.

I want to talk about the youth and their experiences, and perhaps a little about their life and choices. I want to reminisce about life.

During hari raya this year, I met several people who noticeably younger than myself. We shake hands, and we talk about stuff. The occasions left me to strangle in existential crisis: who am I?

The time flies.

Forgive me if I sounded like 60-year-old grandpa. I can’t help that. It seems just like yesterday when I was still a kid or a boy who wonder about nothing apart of try getting as much as I could the duit raya from the elders.

Today in my mid-20th, I wonder where all those years went. I wonder, who am I have ever been, and who am I will ever be.

Those noticeable youngsters remind me to question myself.

I have glimpses of how it was back then, yet what I felt is nothing but scars. Those scars I will carry in my entire life, inevitably. Those scars — my past, are myself and my life.

In the past, particularly during my youth time, accompanied by a special triumvirate — a deadly too, for sure. They are hormones, puberty and curiosity. That triumvirate schooled me everything, from the profoundly divine to the most genuinely evil.

At least par with my mediocre self.

It is what we acknowledge them as a so-called bright side and the dark side.

I have both, in the past and today still. I believe, everyone experiencing the same, including those youngsters. I guess too, everyone regards the similar triumvirate, responsible shaping their views and thought about life.

They just do what everyone has done since the dawn of time. If United was needed Best, Law, and Charlton as their triumvirate to cast their history, we too, need our triumvirate to cast our history for self — our past.

I remember reading a wise says, you have to learn to forgive yourself, especially your past. I think, this hari raya taught me well.

Some might say, the past should not define who we are today. Some disagree, saying that the past defines us and become a part of our life in the next phase. Had it been so crucial, both have to be regarded as life testimonial.

I do identify from these confabulations, for today, we have to define our self dynamically. I mean, it may for someone who likes to put a certain time in their age as the highlight of their formative years. Some may not like that.

I favour the latter. I always view my entire life, up until today, as my formative period. And it keeps loading. I don’t even know, when I will stop and say, yes this is it.

To be able to do that, I think, we need to be dynamic with our life, especially with the past.

It scars us, yes. It flaws us, yes. It is sweet, yes too. The keyword here is embrace. Sometimes, we let our thought, wishing to be something else, if it ever could. Means that, we want to change the past.

Don’t. I mean no, don’t ever think about that. Everyone got their own devilish triumvirate and live with that. Embrace, because everyone has them.

We need to cultivate a new triumvirate for us to move into another chapter in life.

We need more trust, meaningful communication and wholeheartedly commitment towards doing more goods and be a good person.

Be dynamic — learn to forgive your past and to live with them. This — to answers myself about who am I — is myself. It is what I have ever been, and hopefully, a colourful of what I will ever be.

The past two decades of my age may seem like times ago already. Yet, every time I encountered with the same occasion, I can’t help but keep thinking and questioning myself.

Perhaps, I have to reread this writing as a letter to myself when I reach certain age upcoming years so that I keep reminding about the importance to live dynamically, and to keep smiling at my own past.

Only if, Tuhan panjangkan umur.