Monday, November 17, 2014

My Beautiful Butterfly

You are bright, and, that beautiful,
I hope you knew it,
As the summer outside,
But more lovely and more temperate,
  - as Shakespeare had penned
Centuries ago,
Even the most glorious summer morning,
Will never match yours.

If only you knew,
That, I love you,
With so much of my heart,
That none is left to protest.

I want to revel,
Into your innocence,
Your naiveté, and sweetness,
That, I have a courage,
To tell the world,
That, I love you,
My beautiful butterfly…
____
Putrajaya, 16 November 2014
03:18 PM

Friday, November 14, 2014

To Share or Not To

I always stuck in dilemma at the two junctions; to share or not to of my dreams. I’m not a fan of talking much, I rather do it silently and save the rest for later.

However, I feel its necessity to share and to talk my dreams to others. My mom, of course. She would support whatever I want to do in my life. My friends, colleagues and strangers, is another story.

Often I feel like burden on my shoulder once I told someone my dreams. It looks like I failed miserably if I couldn’t manage to make it. It looks like I am just babbling around. At least, that is what I think.

Couple days ago, I share bit of my dreams to someone I just met about 4 hours. He’s a cool young guy. We talk about life and stuff, share a morsel of everything as I could remember. And somehow we became a friend.

At first, I am hesitate. This is the usual me. The confabulations goes verily in myself. The introspection going to a state of wilderness. Is this a right thing to do or are there some other way rounds?

Long story short, yes, we manage to have a nice conversation, plus I learnt a lot from him too. I share my dreams, basically what I want to do in my life, what to achieves, where to go next, the philosophy and the own self vision.

I share to him my story, as I anticipate it would encouraged him to do more than I could during my time as a Degree’s student. I bid him to explore the world, to be independent and get loose in search of meaning of life.

In essence, fundamentally it is what I thought incessantly in my life. Eventually, his responses was astonishing. He expressing his desire and motivation, and gratitude to my sharing. I was flattered, sincerely.

Actually he is not the first person who I met and share, who I scruple at first not because of his or her skin colour or whatever differences designated between me and them, but rather my own doubt of myself, happens in that fashion.

Often I feel the necessity to share and to motivate others, especially to the keen. I believe by sharing my dreams, it helps to foster my pathway to it. However, its often too, I decide not to share, rather to talk lightly on sports and stuff.

I tried to find an answer why I have this tendency. Is that because of my past, or the self-clash in the midst of joys, pain, doubts or hopes?

I found an only answer, I am a roamer, a traveller and a wanderer in the endless quest for meaning. Whilst, the doubts raise, the qualms roar, the worries provoke, and all of these doesn’t matter. To lives is to fight those things.

I realize, I need someone to talk to, to share and to reminisce of my own self, from there it will help me to connect the dots. This as well, an introspection. It make me realize the incompetence of the self, incompleteness and the hollows, that I can’t live by my own.

It make me believe too, by doing it – the introspection and the talks – it will draw me closer to the One and lucidly face up to the loneliness of my consciousness and indeterminate destiny.

Indubitably, all of these – the self-interviewing, the introspection and the talks – already mentioned in Quran,
“Surely in the remembrance of God are hearts comforted.” 
(ar-Ra’ad: 28)

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Pada Yang Mengatakan; Buli Membentuk Peribadi Kelelakian

Hal buli heboh seminggu dua ini. Padahal, buli dan segala yang sewaktu dengannya tiada pernah terhenti zaman berzaman. Cuma kali ini ianya berbeza apabila dirakam jenayah tersebut dalam sebuah klip pendek.

Awal tahun ini, saya menulis – bercerita sebenarnya – mengenai adik rakan saya yang dibuli di SDAR, Negeri Sembilan. Banyak komentar yang saya terima, banyaknya negatif dari kalangan alumni SDAR, termasuklah khabarnya ada laporan polis dibuat ke atas saya kerana memfitnah.

Saya memilih untuk berdiam. Bertengkar dalam ruangan komen adalah sia-sia, tambahnya pula apabila para pengomel hampir semuanya dijangkiti sindrom kesetiaan membabi buta dalam mempertahankan serta menafikan perbuatan tersebut.

Buli tidak termasuk dalam kata perbuatan sebenarnya. Ianya perlu ditakrifkan sebagai jenayah terkutuk.

Saya perlu mengakui, antara yang mendorong saya untuk banyak kali memberi respons terhadap isu buli adalah kerana saya sendiri pernah melalui pengalaman dibuli.

Walaupun saya tidaklah dibuli seteruk adik-adik saya yang menjadi mangsa dalam klip pendek tersebut, namun apabila namanya buli, ianya tetap membawa kesan yang sama.

Lumrahnya, beberapa kerat akan mendakwa bahawa buli atau pengalaman dibuli membina karakter mereka. Demikianlah hidup mereka sekarang, ianya cuba dijustifikasikan bahawa pengalaman dibuli dulu membentuk peribadi mereka kini.

Dalam mendengar komentar sebegini, mahu juga didengari apa pula kata si tukang buli di hari tua mereka. Menjadi tersangat mulia, atau kini perangai tidak ubah sampah yang bersalut emas?

Pada yang mengatakan bahawa buli membentuk peribadi kelelakian, atau membina karakter yang matang, perlulah ditalkinkan pada mereka hati nuraninya yang sudah mati. Mengapa buah fikir sebegini boleh lahir dari kawanan manusia yang terdidik dalam sistem pendidikan ini?

Justeru, timbul beberapa persoalan dalam benak yang kehairanan. Kerana, pada hakikatnya, untuk seseorang manusia itu menjadi manusia, mereka wajib diberi pendidikan. Kerananya lagi, faham universalnya, hanya pendidikanlah yang mampu berbuat ini.

Jadi mengapa dari sistem pendidikan ini boleh terlahirnya kawanan manusia yang sanggup menerima pakai logik dangkal bahawa buli juga suatu bentuk ‘pendidikan’ sehinggakan ianya dianggap sebagai faktor kematangan mereka.

Ke manakah terbuangnya pendidikan yang menjadi pengantar kepada sistem nilai, kebudimanan tingkah laku dan kesusilaan budaya?

Sudah tentunya akal yang sihat tidak boleh menerima perkhabaran bahawa jenayah ini lagi-lagi pelakunya, mereka dalam kalangan sekolah berasrama penuh yang dihuni kasta cerdik pandai dan sekolah agama yang seharian hidup mereka lazim pada wahyu tuhan yang sifat-Nya Maha Penyayang.

Jika yang terdidik dalam persekitaran sebegini gagal menggarap konsep toleransi, kebersamaan dan kehormatan, bahawa diri manusia itu mulia dan haram dizalimi, diaibkan apatah lagi dicederakan fizikal dan maruahnya, apa lagi harapan yang tinggal?

Saya ingin menyampaikan pesan pada yang mengatakan buli itu lumrah, wajiblah pada mereka menyorot semula pesan yang tersirat pada pepatah bijak pandai, ‘Love thy neighbour as thyself’.

Saya titipkan untuk mereka ungkapan Tariq Ramadan ketika berbicara akan hal toleransi dan kehormatan, dengan merujuk aksiom di atas,
"They call upon us to examine our conscience, to work upon ourselves, and never to forget the need for trust and love, in oneself, of oneself, and in others."